Faridoon Shahryar's Blog


Monday, April 18, 2011

Gift A Positive Smile To The Elderly

Last few days have been life altering. My father had a Stroke and spent a few days in the Hospital. Luckily it was not critical but an alarm for us nevertheless. He is back home now and recovering well. Someone said its old age (75), but still howsoever old your parents maybe, you wouldn't want them to go.

My elder brother rushed to Bombay from US. We tried to keep the surroundings of Abba as light as possible, cutting jokes, talking about all his illustrious accomplishments and achievements to bring back the confidence that gets dented by a Stroke. Insha made a few cards for him and he seems to be loving her attention and care the most.

A Stroke affects the speech and its important that the patient talks to retain his/her vocabulary and awareness of language. Abba hasn't been talking much and gives precise answers to the questions asked by us. I've been trying to put my journalistic experience to use by enquiring about the thought process for writing poetry, the movies (for which Abba had penned lyrics) that were never made, his childhood, the impact of great poets like Ghalib and great men like the former Indian President Zakir Hussain sb on his personality.

Abba had written the songs for Muzaffar Ali's 'Zooni' (famous Kashmiri poet Habba Khatoon). The film starred Vinod Khanna and Dimple Kapadia. It was shot in Kashmir in early 1990s. But the problem in the valley stalled its shooting and it was never completed. A few of the songs were recorded. One song 'Rukhe Dildaar Deedam, Daras Ko Aaye Preetam' outstandingly sung by Asha Bhosle ji had a brilliantly haunting melody composed by Khayyam sahab. We heard that song a lot during our childhood. I really hope Muzaffar Ali and HMV Saregama will someday release the 'Zooni' music album. It had the 'Umrao Jaan' stamp on it.

This was also my first personal experience of a major illness in the family. It has greatly sensitised me to the problems of old people. Weakness of body isn't equal to weakness of spirit. Patience, care and sensitivity can bring the best out of the elderly. They are far younger than the young (in age) in many ways. Abba is happy in eating anything that Aarefa makes. No complaints, no demands. He plays Ludo with Insha and reads her story books for her.

Death is an eventuality that one can't deny. Seeing your loved ones in pain, pains a lot. Somehow one starts valuing life by the mere fact that tomorrow we may not be around. I've always tried to be sensitive towards the elderly. I promise, each time I'll see any old person, I'll make sure to stop and lend a helping hand if required. Or otherwise, maybe gift a positive smile.

16 comments:

  1. Hmmm a lot of duas for your dad Faridoon n I hope he makes a quick and complete recovery soon. Will keep him in my prayers.

    A very well written piece and truly something each one of us realise in time.Its only when someone close to us goes through something we get more sensitised towards their needs and look around to see more going thru the same.

    Your Abba is lucky to have a loving family taking care of him and helping him along his recovery, otherwise our elderly, in India are a sadly neglected lot completely or partially abandoned to their own fate.

    Stay blessed

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  2. Ya Saanj, i agree with you...hope u r doing well

    Thanks

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  3. Hi Faridoon ji! Been a looong time since i last commented. I thought you didn't update your blog. Forgive me. ^^" I've been sabbatical for awhile that's why. :P Missed you on Twitter! :) So sorry to hear that your Abba had fallen ill. But good to know he's recovering! May he get well real soon and exercise more! ;D And that's so cute of Insha to make cards for him! I'm sure you'll love the feeling too when you become a granddad someday! ;))

    Best wishes to you and your family!
    Darina ;D

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  4. Ah my friend..it is a wakeup call indeed. I lost my husband four yrs ago and my oldest sister six yrs ago. My parents are in their 90's and even at this stage I can see the road ahead. I used to manage a dementia unit and I fell in love with all of my residents. The youngest was 36 and the oldest 94..Your Dad has a very strong family unit and that really is what matters. Always here for you.

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  5. Thanks Darina...good to hear from you always

    Margaret you are quite a person. Well, you are a strong willed person yourself...thanks for all ur positivity

    Cheers

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  6. My pray always with ur family sir.Hope your dad full recover soon :)

    Your father have a family that loves him so much. Unlike other people who ignore their parents when they get sick and let them live in destitute.

    love from me to your dad =)

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  7. Thanks for the compliment. In my working career I have had many occupations that I never thought I would be doing in a million years. Always had the notion that I could only do 'one' thing. Now have to live thinking outside the box not because of the bottom falling out just have to remain flexible I guess.

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  8. ya makes sense, i guess happens with many people...

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  9. Its Rubayed (Rube80). Inshallah your father will get well soon, i totally understand what u must have been going through. My father have been diagnosed with a form of Leukemia two days ago and although the news is very raw to all of us but the fear of losing my father got to me for the first time and it is one hell of a scary thought, mind just simply goes blank. He will start his treatment soon and we r all trying to be very positive around him. News like this puts everything into perspective. Takecare buddy and I pray for u and ur family!

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  10. Hey Rubayed, i totally understand ur sentiments...thanks for ur wishes for Abba...really hope ur dad recovers well soon...keep the faith and be positive...it works!!

    Best wishes!!!

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  11. God Bless you Fari Sir,really Missin urs LovelyPresence Tweets and all Gorgeous Works updates fr all of us ,May God Blessingz Loves alwys be on you and urs Beautifull Lovedones famly ,am fan of urs i loved respect ur interviews wit salmankhan that just cheers myhearts alwys whenevr i watch em , thx God i find urs precious blog words here thx fr alwysx enligthen us writein true frm ur heart ~ Loads Blessingz Love ligth Shines ur all ways in Angels Bliss God showers Blossming blessingz Loves stays u nd urs famly blessed amen amen ur fan well wisher ~ Neelikhan

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  12. Thanks Neeli for ur warm wishes...best wishes to u n ur family

    Cheers

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  13. I arrived here looking for some info. on Zooni. My best wishes for your father and I do hope that at least the music from the film gets released.

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  14. Rukh-e-Dildaar Deedam Daras Ko Aaye Preetam..is geet ke poore lyrics mil sakte hain? shuqriya!

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